I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize