He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
