He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize