ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I have post one night stand depression
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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