So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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