If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
