when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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