I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
