this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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