Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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