I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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