I want you more than these girls want KFC
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
