I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
