Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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