we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
