I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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