The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
