Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
