He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
