You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
