i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
