Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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