her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
