she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
