So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
