it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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