Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
