I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
