He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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