my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
