I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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