His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
