Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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