This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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