we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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