I like my sex mixed with concussions.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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