so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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