They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She bit a glass in half.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
