I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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