I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think people are normalizing furries
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize