I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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