i need an iv and a liver transplant
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
