found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
