I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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