This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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