if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
