ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
