Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
