only you would photoshop your dick
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
