oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize