The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She bit a glass in half.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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