See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
no. you can't hotbox the world.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
