So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
