Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
