I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My ATM looks so different sober.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
