I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
