I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
