I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
